Oct 27

Failure is simply a stepping-stone on your way to success. Of course, this doesn't mean that it's easy to deal with or something that should be taken lightly, but how you deal with failure will determine not only your future success, but also how easy it will be to achieve.

Everyone has different coping mechanisms and ways they react to failure. However, learning the ways that more often lead you to success can help you enormously!

Here are some tips on how to pick yourself up after you fail:

  1. Learn from your failure. There is a lesson to be learned each time you fail. Discover what this lesson is and keep it in mind during future attempts at success. If you don't learn from your failure, you'll keep repeating the same mistakes.

  2. Forge ahead. It's completely normal to feel like giving up when you're first hit by failure. The most important part of failure is what you do afterwards. So strive to have confidence in yourself. This experience may very well be your last step before you reach great success!

  3. Surround yourself with good people. It's a good idea to be surrounded by like-minded and positive people. This is especially important when you're dealing with the negative emotions that may accompany failure.

• Positive people will inspire you to pick yourself up and go further than you thought you could go.

  1. Set goals. If you've failed at a large task, think about setting smaller, immediate goals. If you build your way up to completing a difficult task using small steps, each step may not feel so overwhelming. When you're finished, you'll be amazed at what you achieved!

  2. Visualize your dreams. Fight the negative thoughts that creep up after failure by visualizing yourself meeting your goal. Take the time to picture yourself successfully going through each step it will take to reach your goal.

  3. Be enthusiastic. When you first set out to achieve something big, chances are you approached the task at hand with a great deal of enthusiasm. If you meet failure once or even several times, it's important to maintain the enthusiastic force to give you the energy and drive to continue toward your goal.

  4. Write it down. Keep a journal that details your personal thoughts, goals, and attempts. It will help you stay organized and focused on success. Another good exercise is to write your goal on a piece of paper and place it somewhere where you can see it several times each day to remind yourself to take action toward this desire.

  5. Don't dwell in the past. The past doesn't have to be your present or future. Just because you had a setback, it doesn't mean that it will continue to be the case. The only way to achieve your goals is to keep trying.

  6. Think about the worst case scenario. What's the worst thing that can happen if you fail? Some people are so concerned with success and have such a horrible fear of failure that they don't consider whether or not the worst case scenario is all that bad!

• Realizing that failure may only mean a small delay toward your eventual success can alleviate some of your fears and give you the confidence to succeed.

Just Keep Trying



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It's likely that you can think of someone you know who set his or her mind on a goal and would stop at nothing to achieve it. It's not just some kind of story or fantasy – this could be you, too! Adopt this drive and apply it to your situation.

When you believe in yourself and your abilities, you'll gain the drive to keep moving forward and you'll feel unstoppable.

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Oct 22

If you find that you spend too much of your time working, your life will soon be much less satisfying than it once was. It's easy to get caught up in your work. Sometimes you don't even realize it until it seems too late, but it's never too late to break out of the bad habit!

The Underlying Problem

Often times you get swept up with becoming a workaholic because of an underlying problem. It's true that sometimes you're just getting too much pressure at work to get things done on time, but more often than not, you'll find that you're using your work to hide from other problems.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Are you working too much because of financial strain? • Are you trying to avoid your home life? • Are you using work to avoid some other issue you're facing?

If you're overworking yourself because of financial reasons, you can only do it for so long. Sooner or later your mental and physical health will begin to suffer. You need to work hard with an end date in mind. If this doesn't work for you, perhaps it's time to find a better paying job.

If you're avoiding problems at home, you absolutely must concentrate on solving these problems. They aren't going to go away just because you've been escaping the situation. The only way things will improve is if you take action to resolve what's plaguing you.

Balance Out Your Life

Once you've solved any underlying problems, you'll want to bring balance back to your life. In order to wean yourself from your work, there are certain tips you can utilize to change your working habits.

Try some of these techniques:

  1. Make time for yourself. Realize that you and your health are ultimately more important than your work. Schedule time for yourself and treat that time as more important than any of your other deadlines.

  2. Unwind at the end of the day. Decide on a firm bedtime and unwind before going to bed. Decide when you're going to sleep and, approximately 30 minutes beforehand, engage in a relaxing activity that has nothing to do with your work.

  3. Exercise. Incorporate a moderate exercise routine into your schedule a few times each week. Exercise will help you relax and release some of your stress from work. It's great for both your physical and mental health and is one more good way to wean yourself from overworking.

  4. Take days off. You need days off from your work from time to time. It's just a fact. If you have a traditional job where you have weekends free, you must spend them away from work. On your days off, avoid even thinking or talking about work. Let your mind be free!

Start Slow

Remember that these changes don't have to happen all at once, but you can start incorporating them into your life one at a time. Your life simply can't be all about work. Remember to spend time doing activities that you enjoy besides work.

Take some time today to implement just one or two of these strategies and you'll soon realize that there is life outside of work!



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Oct 20

If you find yourself afraid of an upcoming speech, you're not alone. The fear of public speaking is one of the top fears out there, but you can still do something about it.

You hear over and over again that practice makes perfect, and this also applies to public speaking. Any sort of public speaking – even when you speak out in your group of friends – can ease you into the public speaking role.

Here are some actions you can take to reduce your fear of public speaking:

  1. Be prepared. In most public speaking situations you can use notes. Make sure you organize your notes and break them down into an organized list where you highlight two or three key talking points. If you can't use notes, simply make it a point to practice your speech until you feel comfortable saying it in front of others. You might still have some fear, but being well prepared can definitely combat this feeling.

  2. Don't expect perfection. It's important not to expect that your speech will be perfect. In fact, chances are your audience doesn't expect perfection either. They understand that everyone makes mistakes and they, themselves, may be afraid of public speaking! You might skip over a part of your talk or stutter a little, and these are all natural human mistakes.

  3. Speak in small groups. If you're uncomfortable speaking in front of a large group, then start small. Practice on small groups and ask for feedback afterwards. You can have a confidential feedback form, or you can just ask participants what they thought of your speech.

  4. Have a backup plan. It's always advisable to have a back up plan in life situations and public speaking is not an exception. Think about what you might want to say if you get stuck. If your mind goes blank, take a deep breath and start your backup plan. Chances are you'll find yourself back on track before you know it.

  5. Relax. It's important to get yourself into the right mindset before you have to speak. Consider starting a ritual that you find relaxing in order to keep your mind off of your fears. You could meditate or do a crossword puzzle, whatever it is, just choose an activity that helps you relax.

The Audience

The audience is the whole reason that you're afraid to make your speech, but it helps to know that they're on your side. Keep a positive attitude because chances are good that the audience wants you to succeed in your speech.

In the end, it's important to remember that even if you do mess up, it's not the end of the world. As long as you've prepared yourself well enough and have a back up plan in place, you'll be able to pick yourself back up if you trip up anywhere in your speech.

After your presentation, it's important to take notes and critique yourself on how it went. Write down your observations on what you did well in addition to areas of improvement.

As you continue to practice your public speaking skills, you'll get better and more comfortable in time. Just keep at it!



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Oct 9

How to Be a Better Communicator

Communication is the key when it comes to anything that involves collaboration. Since humans are a social species, communication is involved in nearly everything you do.

Some people are born with the natural ability to communicate well, while others may struggle with it. No matter what category you fall into, it's likely that you can benefit from paying attention to improving your communication skills.

Why Better Communication Helps You

Did you know that most businesses consider your communication skills to be the most important characteristic about you? This means that you could have top-notch knowledge and job skills but still fail to land a job if you're lacking in the communication department.

Communication is certainly not only important when it comes to your work life, but it's also vital in having a successful home life as well. Couples and family members that are good communicators lead happier lives overall.

Proper communication will prevent misunderstandings and save you time so you won't have to go back and explain yourself again and again. You know you've gained good communication skills when you can communicate your thoughts effectively with as few words as necessary!

How To Improve Communication With Others

Communication is a two way street. This means that you could have excellent skills, but if the recipient is lacking, then you may not be understood. This is why it's important not only to develop our speaking skills, but our listening skills, too.

Since you can't affect the skill level of others, the only thing you can do is strengthen your own communication skills. Besides, when you're an excellent communicator, more people will understand you, everything around you will run more efficiently, and you'll more often get what you want!

Try these strategies to improve your communication skills:

  1. Avoid arguing. If you run into a snag in a conversation and it starts to morph into an argument, step back and realize what's going on. It's easy to get swept up into the blame game, but ultimately it's not important who's at fault. What's important is the mutual understanding of the issue at hand and a desire for a solution that benefits everyone.

  2. Don't be afraid to compromise. You may be tempted to try and "win" but that's not the best way to reach a mutual agreement. You may be happier with getting your way, but it may come at the expense of the other person, which can cause further issues. Find a good compromise that you both can willingly accept.

  3. Work on listening. Your listening skills are even more important than your speaking skills. After all, how will you know what you should say – and when – if you haven't effectively listened? Listen more than you speak and you'll gain a profound wisdom of others, too!

  4. Keep your focus. Communication will get overly complicated if you worry about too many issues at once. Avoid bringing up the past or other issues and, instead, focus on the one topic at hand.

  5. Stay calm and take responsibility. Adopt a calm and cool manner of handling situations. When things remain low key, it's easier to communicate and get your point across. This also means that you need to take responsibility for what you say. Don't be afraid to admit mistakes when you're wrong.

Becoming a better communicator doesn't happen overnight. But if you keep practicing and tweaking your skills, you'll be surprised at what you can accomplish.



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Oct 6

Clarify Your Goals for Greater Success

A goal is like a compass. It helps you focus on where you want to go in life and make positive progress to get there. However, it's important to remember that you need clarity in your goals from time to time. You'll want to make it as easy as possible for you to reach them.

It may take some more time on your part, but when you write out detailed instructions for yourself instead of vague ideas, you have a much better chance at success. Not only do you know exactly what you need to do, but such plans also tend to invigorate you with more enthusiasm.

Follow these tips in order to clarify your goals:

  1. Figure out your ultimate goal. What, exactly, do you want?

• Instead of a goal like "I want to be successful," get down to specifics, such as "I want to own my own business which brings in at least $10,000 per month."

  1. Don't be afraid of detail. You make the ultimate decision on what you want. Just don't be afraid to set the details. Avoid goals like "I want to be rich" because there is no detail.

• How much money do you want to make? • Why? What will this money provide for you that you desire? • What lifestyle do you want? Cars, homes, ability to travel the world, philanthropy? • How do you want to earn this money? • When do you want this to happen? • How can you prepare for this?

  1. Break up your goals. When you stare at the ultimate goal, it may seem intimidating and unattainable. It's important to break up your main goal into smaller goals. Write out detailed plans about how you'll reach each of the smaller goals.

• For example, if you want to start your own business, a small goal would be to research your local and federal business laws and register a name.

  1. Give yourself deadlines. It's vital to give yourself deadlines so you know you're making progress towards your goals. Each of your small goals should have an attainable deadline.

• In the business example above, maybe you'd give yourself a week's time in order to research different business structures and laws.

  1. Keep track. Make detailed notes about what you have done so far. Keeping track of your progress will help you stay organized and on top of your goals.

  2. Make alternate plans. Sometimes you won't be able to make the deadline you have set out for yourself, or maybe you'll be unable to follow through with a current plan entirely. It's important to think of alternatives in case certain situations don't work out in your favor. If you already have back up plans in place, you'll save time if you run into snags on the way to your goals.

Get Organized

Organization can mean keeping all of your detailed plans and journals in a binder with tabs for easy access to your various sets of notes. Alternatively, you may opt to keep your materials organized by using project management software on your computer. Just remember to make backups of your digital information so that you don't lose it.

No matter what method you've chosen, determine the details, set small attainable goals that lead toward your ultimate goals, be flexible so you can conquer challenges, and keep track of your progress. Doing these things will bring you ultimate clarity and success.

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Oct 4

Advertising is one of those things that just about every small business owner considers at some point. After all, that's how big companies promote their businesses, right? So, shouldn't you be doing it as well?

Well, while advertising has its place in promotion, it has a number of drawbacks which means it's often not the best method for small business owners. Let's have a look at some of these.

Firstly, advertising is great for generating awareness of your business. It tells everyone who you are and what you do and people will notice you and realise that you're around. However, while it's great for building awareness, it's not too good at getting customers. Only 1-2% of people seeing, listening or watching adverts actually buy directly from the advert.

Secondly, advertising needs to be repeated often in order for it to stand any chance of being effective. You need to be repeating it at least three times: let's face it you might see the advert and mean to do something about it, but not get around to it. And if you need to repeat it, this can become effective.

Which brings me to my third point, advertising is a pretty expensive way of doing marketing – the average cost of an advert in your local paper (and I'm talking about a small advert here) is around £150+VAT. If you need to repeat your ad at least three times, that's £450+VAT before you even start. And if you do radio or television advertising, the costs can end up being astronomical.

With all these drawbacks, my preference isn't to advertise, but to concentrate on free or low-cost methods of marketing that have the same impact. After all, if advertising is better for awareness than getting customers, believe me there are at least 50 different ways I can think of, just off the top of my head that will create the same result, but cost nothing to do.

Having said that, there are some good deals around at the moment if you negotiate and are not afraid of walking away if you can't reach the price you're prepared to pay. And there are quite a few places where it's very cheap to advertise and might well be worth exploring. For instance, church magazines tend to be very cheap to do as do adverts in post offices or supermarkets.

Advertising in the yellow pages is also free and is a must for all small businesses – remember yellow pages is where people go if they know your name but can't remember your contact details. Don't be tempted to pay for an advert until you know it works. If you get business from a free advert, you'll definitely get business from a paid advert in there. Test it first.

If you'd like a copy of my 50 free ways to promote your business which is now a 14 page factsheet, please feel free to contact me on helen.dowling@exceptionalthinking.co.uk

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